How to be the best version of yourself
Reverse-engineering the human mind
As an only child, I had to adapt to change, I had to learn how to defend myself, I had to learn how to speak, and what to say and what not to say, I had to learn from the outside world of society.
The toughest thing that I had to learn is how to react to things, how to behave in a certain manner, how to interpret feelings and expressions.
Today, I’m so grateful to share with you my journey to personal development that I’ve learned from inspiring humans like Chris Do, Tony Robbins, Jordan Peterson, and many others that have been mentioned below!
- The 16 basic human desires
– The law of attraction
– The symmetry of logic
– Controlling your subconscious
– Memory anchors — Recognition pattern
– How to build rapport
– Introversion is not social awkwardness!
– How to be the best version of your self
– How to find your “true” voice
– Helping others
– How to learn & make progress
– About hard work
– Mastery & specialization
– Risk management
– Decision making
– Goals prioritization
– Perfection syndrome
– Ikigai x To pursue something meaningful
– How to be a better person (last thoughts)
THE 16 BASIC HUMAN DESIRES — Steven Reiss “Who I’m I”
- Social contact
- Physical exercise
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
“Don’t try to be original just try to be good.” — Ludwing Mies
“We are looking for familiar presented differently.” — Chris Do
The idea of this “unneeded originality” that you need to make your own “case study” / “work” totally different than everybody else’s who’s in the space of doing the same thing, is completely wrong!
Just look at yourself, Wearing the same white shirt and blue jeans, looking like everybody else that’s kind of like you, that is completely acceptable, right?
You didn’t build your own laptop, you bought one that everybody else’s in your niche buying, right?
Would you rather be good and get paid $18,000 or would you rather just be different and unique?
Clients do not hire the best and most unique option, they buy the least risky option!
Familiarity with something says it’s safe.
Like attracts like, if you want to attract the client that is paying $18k and up, you need to be like the companies that they’re attracted to.
THE SYMMETRY OF LOGIC
If something works in a specific way in a specific industry, does it work somewhere else?
How can we apply the same rules to different games?
Do you like Nike’s shoes? Do you care if the product is made by a 12-year-old with 5 cents or not? Or do you care about the end product that meets your expectations?
CONTROLLING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS
“The reason why many of us are stuck is that we live in the subconscious part of our brains.
Driving your car home and thinking about the argument you had with your boss, not thinking about the road while driving. It’s automatic. Then you are suddenly home. Your subconscious drove you home. 95% of our day is running on autopilot.
The Future Self Journal
A technique you can use to question the power of your subconscious so that you engage with the idea of changing it.
– It’s a daily practice
– You use the power of writing
– You can do your journaling in the morning
Autopilot will not make a new choice. The act of writing your intentions every morning helps increase the likelihood to practice this new habit. Writing as if it’s already true will harness the reality of our mind. The mind does not know if what you think is real or imagined; It’s the act of writing in Present Tense as if this change already happened.
The neuroplasticity of our brains i.e. the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life is going to help you form some new networks. Do this for at least 30 days. Note, it can take more than 30 days for some people. This is not a magic journal or a quick fix. It is a tool to create that repetitive consistent change.
_I am grateful for…_
_3 traits of the Future Self…_
What is the science behind the statement that you cannot tell the difference between reality and what is imagined?
Our mind is an active process. All the neurons firing up and building neurosynaptic pathways.
The most fascinating research is called Mental Rehearsal.
They’ll have basketball players visualizing a free throw and the neurons are moving as if their arm is moving, even though the player’s arm did not move yet.
How can we overcome the fear of making mistakes (Paralysis by analysis — fear of making mistakes)
We all have space from which our best decisions come that’s not actually coming from our minds at all. It is coming from our deeper, intuitive center that many of us have lost touch with.
– Decrease the amount of time you are spending in your mind
– Stop contemplating decisions
– Do the deeper work and condition yourself from operating under your old believes about yourself that might have been real for you at that particular time and space they were born
– Get comfortable with being uncomfortable” — The Futur
MEMORY ANCHORS — RECOGNITION PATTERN
“Our memory works by association,
For example, the connection of the number 1 to an image of a gold medal can be used to remember more complex ideas #1=?
Similarly, use visual anchors to create strong associations with our brand.
Visual anchors can make our brand:
⚓️ Unified through all communications
⚓️ Recognizable and Trustworthy
One of the most important and well-known visual anchors is a company’s logo. But this is just one part of what makes a brand memorable.
Using your brand identity consistently across different platforms can serve as a strong anchor for your brand. ⚓
Therefore, it’s important to get your brand identity right, to make a difference.”
HOW TO BUILD RAPPORT — Tony Robbins
• Rapport is created by a feeling of commonality
• People like people who are like themselves or who are like how they would like to be
• We like people who are like us or who would like to be more alike.
• Physiology is 55% of communication
• Matching & Mirroring:
1. Tone of voice
3. Body language:
– Pacing and leading:
Anytime you want to lead a person to a conclusion, a decision, or an understanding, use pacing and leading. You simply state what is true about the current situation, or what you believe to be true about what they are experiencing, and then you use it to lead them to a conclusion which influences a decision
– Facial expression
– Eye contact
“listen listen listen, you have one of these (mouth) and two of those (ears),
you should be doing this twice (listening) as much as that (talking).” — Peter butler
INTROVERSION IS NOT SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS!
- An introvert loses energy in every social interaction.
(Waking up with 5 coins)
- An extrovert gains energy in every social interaction.
(Waking up with 0 coins)
“It doesn’t matter, both can be leaders if and only if they have an UNDYING BELIEF IN THEIR CAUSE.” — Simon Sinek
HOW TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOUR SELF
Own who you truly are — Chris Do
“• The blame game
Reverse-engineer every decision you make
• Engaging conversations
– Say what you think
– Be gentle
– Position the person you’re talking to, to see it from your lenses.
– Be a problem-solver, not a problem-seeker
– Most of the problems you usually counter isn’t because of what you say but rather on how you say it (the tone of your voice)
– When you speak, be genteelly honest & truthful
“This is totally different from what we thought” — “How can we make this work?” — “Based on our experience, we don’t know how to handle this”
– People don’t know what’s the cost of your hard work, they just want to hear the story of what it takes to do your job
• Conquer your fear by having a process, create your own creative recipe
– Take time to analyze the person you’re going to talk to in advance, check their social sharing, find what they’re attracted to the most, and face (mirror) them with it
- Clients will pay more if you surprise them less
HOW TO FIND YOUR “TRUE” VOICE
1- Take a pen and write as many critical (self-attacks) first person (I) statements as you can until you pass the surface answers
2- Transfer the same answers to another paper and write as a third person (you) statements
– Read & feel them out loud
– Identify & associate the voice that’s not your own
– Decide if you want to listen to this voice or not
3- Re-write in your true voice (I statements)
1- I am a really slow reader
2- You are a slow reader, you should work harder and be more like your cousin
3- I read slowly because I absorb more of what I read. it’s what makes me a good teacher
- If you don’t like your reality, all you have to do is to change the words,
WORD JITSU (neuter the words):
> Fail — First attempt in learning
> Impossible — I’m possible
> No — Next opportunity
> Fear — Fantasized experience appearing real
> Pain — Precursor anything notable
> Safe — Simply always following everyone/stay average forever
- It takes time to sound like yourself — Chris Do
- You should go where you’re needed the most
- Do the don’ts and do the dos AND JUST DO YOU
- Everything you do counts
- Breakdowns create breakthroughs
- You have to believe in yourself more than the average person, work on unrealistic goals, it gives you a taste of possibility.
- You don’t need someone’s opinion to facilitate your creativity, freedom is power.
- “Do one for the money and two for the show.” — Seth Godin
- Make money to support the cause not to control it
- “When things aren’t adding up, start subtracting.” -Pocket full of do
“To win, you need to get out of your own way, you get to decide whether you are your greatest obstacle or your biggest fan.
When you set your achievements in the future, you’re already putting it off, the future never comes, it will always remain the future and you’ll always remain chasing it and waiting for it. You need to say: “I AM SUCCESSFUL” AND YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THAT SO DEEPLY AND THAT YOU ARE JUST WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO CATCH UP.
If you are already seeking outside validation than you are already losing to yourself. You have to be delusional to even start, let along to keep going, you have to be the first person who thinks that you’re going to achieve what you’ve set up to do. When I was 14, I would never ask the 24-year-old version of me for advice because I would’ve thought I was better than them. That kind of level of self-belief is the kind of insanity that is required to succeed, get delusional.
The “what if?” will torment you, the “oh well,” will free you. “— RUSS
- Do what you love until you’re able to love what you do. — Chris Do
- Just do you, because no one else will do. — Chris Do
- Be around people who’ve already made it
- Own who you truly are
- Don’t be a maybe guy
- Your potential has no roof. Stop giving it a sealing!!!!
- “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
- What’s “crazy” today is “obvious” tomorrow
- Act yesterday
- Don’t fail to fail
- Failure is the tuition you pay for future success — Chris Do
- Nothing will change between “now” and “then” unless you do
- IF YOUR VISION DOESN’T SCARE YOU, IT’S NOT BIG ENOUGH
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right” Henry Ford
“If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to build theirs.” -Tony Gaskins
“Age is a matter of mind, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twin
“If someone tells you: you can’t, they are showing you their limits not yours” — Nishchay Mutreja
“The things that make you weird as a kid will make you great tomorrow.”
and tomorrow is today. — James Victore, Fect perfuction
“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.” — David Allen, Author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity
“Do Work that matters for people who care.” — Seth Godin
It’s how you do one thing, that you do everything else’s.”
The true meaning of a story is never revealed until the end
- Take negative inputs of your life and turn them into positive or neutral outputs.
Go from “I can’t run like that” to “I can’t run like that, YET”
“The lens through which your brain views the world shapes your reality.
Change the lens, change your happiness, change every single outcome at the same time.” Shawn Achor — Researcher, Author, Ted speaker
“Conquer your critical inner voice” Robert W. Firestone PhD, Lisa Firestone PhD, Joyce Catlett, M.A
“The last step for an addict to quit his addiction is to help another addict quit his.” — Simon Sinek
“If you’re able to help another human being, and if you’re able to do it at scale, and you’re able to reach so many people, I got to tell you, that’s the kind of joy no money can buy.“ — Chris Do
- People will remember how you made them feel, long after they forget your words
- How to be a leader among the cheeps? by simply giving more value
“Don’t try to change someone else’s mind, instead, try to help them think and let them find their own motivation to change.” — Brian Collins
“Helping 1 person might not change the whole world but it could change the whole word for 1 person.” — Chris Do
HOW TO LEARN & MAKE PROGRESS
The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
- The best way to learn is to teach
- Your mind is your precious asset, be a long-life learner
“Read, watch & listen” to fill your mind with information and to find new ideas.
“Create, write & teach” to better understand them.
“Implementation & action” will make you learn from them.
- You can’t lose something you don’t have
- You don’t know what you don’t know!
- You can’t make progress if you’re falling behind
- FAIL FORWARD
- Every obstacle is an opportunity in disguise — Chris Do
This is where we look back at our lives, take notes at the most important moments and figure out how to reach future goals.
What are you doing to keep yourself educated?
“Income rarely exceeds the level of personal development.” — Jim Rohn
“To be interesting, be interested.” — Dale Carnegie
- Be a long-life learner
- Use your precious asset, your mind.
ABOUT HARD WORK
“Hard work beats talent when talents fail to work hard.”
“The world doesn’t bet on talent, it bets on people who bet on themselves.” — Russ
“Outwork and out believe – Believe out loud.” — Russ
- Harder you work, luckier you get
- Making great work is hard work
- When nothing works, keep working
- Repetition is the father of perfection
- Work smart (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound) not just hard
“You have to show up, every day, and be willing to break up the things that you made yesterday to see if you can rebuild them better today, that’s how you make great work.” — Mathew Encina
- The college all-star crushes on the “Pro League”, it’s a different game
- Don’t quiet on day 361, don’t quiet at weekends, don’t quiet at holidays
“If you don’t want to make average stuff for average people, then you have to make unbelievable stuff for a few people who care.” — Seth Godin
“Work for yourself until you’re able to make it work for you.” Amine Hammou
- “Everyone has a plan until they get punched on the face,
The 1st step to build a successful anything is to have the resilience to get punched in the face multiple times,
Giving up isn’t an option and neither are limiting beliefs.” — Michael Tyson
It doesn’t make sense to work hard for something invaluable
The more you work on something the more you convince yourself that it’s good because of the effort that you have put into it
The compound effect
To add an exponential return on investment over time
1.01³⁶⁵ = 37.78
MASTERY & SPECIALIZATION
“It’s better to fail in pursuit of excellence than to succeed in mediocrity.” @theChrisDo
“To improve is to change, to perfect is to change often.” H.O.C
“It takes 10,000 hours of practice to become expert at something.” — Malcolm Gladwell
- Amateurs give advice, experts diagnose
- Don’t confuse fame with mastery
- If it takes 20 mins to do a task well, that took years to master
- You succeed when you lose track of time
- It’s a game of focus, keep your head down, you’ll know when to look up!
- Practice what you preach
- Believe that the next thing you’re going to make will be the best in the world in that specific area. If it doesn’t, do it again, and again, and again until it does.
Credits: Pricing Creativity w/ Blair Enns Livestream x the value conversation — uncover KPI’s “The desired future state”
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Wayne Gretzky
Don’t sit where you’re the highest talent in the room and there’s nowhere to climb for.
Levels of success:
– Level 1:
- Hard work
- Saying yes to every opportunity you get
– Level 2:
- Saying no to almost everything:
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” — Warren buffet
“When you’re heads down doing the work, you’re not heads up looking towards a horizon.”
“What got you here won’t get you there.”
- Take the risk, you get paid for what you do and own and the risk that you take.
“In business all profit comes from risk.” — Peter Drucker father of management consulting
“If you don’t take risk, you’ll always work for someone who does.”
DECISION MAKING & GOALS PRIORITIZATION
Paralysis by analysis — fear of making decisions
Stimulus overflow — Too many options, can’t decide?
They are mental shortcuts we use to make sense of a complex word. They are cognitive tools that help us make quick decisions. The goal isn’t to make the best decisions but to make a quick one.
“If you fail to plan you plan to fail” — Benjamin Franklin
- Proper planning prevents poor performance
- Move on from your old belief system
- Making no decision is a decision, a bad one
“You cannot make progress without making decisions.” — Jim Rohn
- Bootstrap & fail fast
- Don’t make decisions when emotional
- Choose one, it doesn’t matter
- Test more, specialize fast
- Train physically & mentally to control your stress overload
- Perfection doesn’t exist
- Prioritize your goals
- Fix a deadline
- The 1st step is the hardest
- Celebrate what you want to see more of
- Reward yourself
Agile / Scrum
- The mind can only remember 7 things at a time [Miller’s UX law]
- 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the results [Pareto principle]
- Focus on one narrow vision
- Start small, think big
- Diversify & conquer
- Define “DONE”
- Goals => action plan => task list => deadline
- Use sprints — weekly tracking workflows — planned work in time boxed-iterations
- Measure everything! (success, progress, time, profit, effort, impact)
The classification system, Scrum — Kanban — Risk
- Important & urgent x Do it now x Low-risk high result
- Important & not urgent x Do it later x high-risk high result
- Not Important & urgent x Delegate x Low-risk low result
- Not Important & not urgent x Don’t x High-risk low res
Neophilia — Curiosity to try something new
Neophobia — Fear of anything too new (fear of change)
- It’s unrealistic to go into something that you’re “new to” and expect that you’re going to be “the best at”
- Stop selling yourself as if you’re as good as the last work that you had success at
- Deviate your old ways of doing things, embrace new projects that push you to learn something new
- Embrace your failures, that’s your source of learning
“Perfection prevents action.” — Stephen Covey
Go from “I can’t make it” to “can I make it?” to “I should make it” to “I have to make it” to “I must make it” until it’s done. — Matt Davella
PURSUE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL x IKIGAI
What’s your reason for being? What’s your number one reason for existence?
- What do you love?
- How does it help the world become a better place?
- What is it that you’re good at?
- What specialty should you be paid for?
“Don’t do it to make a living, make a living doing it” — Seth Godin
HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON — Jordan Peterson
1. Tell the truth
2. Do not do things that you hate
3. Act so that you can tell the truth about how you act.
4. Pursue what is meaningful not what is expedient.
5. If you have to choose, be the one who does things, instead of the one who is seen to do things.
6. Pay attention.
7. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you need to know.
8. Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationships
9 . Be careful who you share the good news with.
10. Be careful who you share bad news with.
11. Make at least one thing better every single place you go.
12. Imagine who you could be, and then aim single-mindedly at that.
13. Do not allow yourself to become arrogant or resentful.
14. Try to make one room in your house as beautiful as possible.
15. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday not to who someone else is today.
16. Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens.
17. If old memories still make you cry, write them down carefully and completely.
18. Maintain your connections with people.
19. Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or artistic achievement.
20. Treat yourself as if you are someone that you are responsible for helping.
21. Ask someone to do you a small favor, so that he or she can ask you to do one in the future.
22. Make friends with people who want the best for you.
23. Do not try to rescue someone who does not want to be rescued and be very careful about rescuing someone who does.
25. Nothing well done is insignificant.
26. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
27. Dress like the person you want to be.
28. Be precise in your speech.
29. Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
30. Don’t avoid something frightening if it stands in your way.
31. Don’t do unnecessarily dangerous things.
32. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
33. Do not transform your wife into a maid.
34. Do not hide unwanted things in the fog.
35. Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated.
36. Read something written by someone great.
37. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
38. Don’t bother children when they’re skateboarding.
39. Don’t let bullies get away with it.
40. Write a letter to the government if you see something that needs fixing and proposes a solution.
41. Remember that what you do not yet know is more important than what you already know.
42. Be grateful despite your suffering.
“The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step” — Lao Tzu
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